Interview With A Tree
Q: So how does one tree mourn for another tree’s loss?
A: Obviously by weeping. There’s a common misconception that only willows weep.
Q: What did you think about the film “Roots”?
A: I was offended. Couldn’t get past the title.
Q: Did you feel the same for “A Tree Grows in Brooklyn”?
A: No! No! No! That is completely different. That was one of the first. An absolute break-through for us!! You know, I have relatives in Brooklyn. Apparently they came from the South via a nursery in Long Island. Family tree stuff is interesting yet difficult to follow given our reproductive proliferation & irresponsibility. Some of us were just plain old nuts at one point.
Q: How do you feel about the attention the pines & spruces receive during the Christmas holidays?
A: This makes my sap boil. No comment.
Q: Recently I spent time at a Zen Monastery. There is a saying amongst Buddhists, “Chop wood, carry water”. Have you heard of this?
A: Yes. And it provides the answer of a prevalent violence amongst Buddhists!
Q: And what about, “Does a tree make a sound if it falls in the forest and no-one is there to hear it?”
A: I ask you this, "Does human flatulence smell if no one is there to smell it?"
Q: And what about the “Tree of Life”?
A: A fine example of what we call “treeson”. Some 'holy growers' somewhere started this one. Well, my time is up. I need to be pruned and irrigated.
Greg D
4/27/06
Jersey City, NJ
A: Obviously by weeping. There’s a common misconception that only willows weep.
Q: What did you think about the film “Roots”?
A: I was offended. Couldn’t get past the title.
Q: Did you feel the same for “A Tree Grows in Brooklyn”?
A: No! No! No! That is completely different. That was one of the first. An absolute break-through for us!! You know, I have relatives in Brooklyn. Apparently they came from the South via a nursery in Long Island. Family tree stuff is interesting yet difficult to follow given our reproductive proliferation & irresponsibility. Some of us were just plain old nuts at one point.
Q: How do you feel about the attention the pines & spruces receive during the Christmas holidays?
A: This makes my sap boil. No comment.
Q: Recently I spent time at a Zen Monastery. There is a saying amongst Buddhists, “Chop wood, carry water”. Have you heard of this?
A: Yes. And it provides the answer of a prevalent violence amongst Buddhists!
Q: And what about, “Does a tree make a sound if it falls in the forest and no-one is there to hear it?”
A: I ask you this, "Does human flatulence smell if no one is there to smell it?"
Q: And what about the “Tree of Life”?
A: A fine example of what we call “treeson”. Some 'holy growers' somewhere started this one. Well, my time is up. I need to be pruned and irrigated.
Greg D
4/27/06
Jersey City, NJ